I’m trying to figure out the best ways to teach my kids to be more responsible using positive reinforcement instead of just punishing them when they mess up. Like how do you actually reward them for doing chores, remembering their homework, taking care of their stuff etc? What kind of rewards work best and how often should you give them? I feel like if I praise them too much it might lose its effect but I also don’t want to under-do it. Also wondering about things like chore charts or point systems - do those actually work long term or do kids just get bored of them? Any parents here have success stories or tips that worked for your family?
Natural consequences really resonate with my kids. They choose the family movie once chores are done without reminders. Extra screen time on weekends is another motivator.
Timing is crucial; acknowledging good choices immediately has the greatest impact.
Starting with small tasks can really help. For instance, when my child began putting their dishes away, I made sure to highlight how much easier that made dinner for everyone.
For bigger accomplishments, like keeping up with homework or a tidy room, I reward them with special time together doing an activity they choose. My son got to go to the arcade for remembering his backpack every day last month.
I’ve noticed that giving praise right when they do something well is most effective. A quick comment like “I appreciate your thoughtfulness” really resonates. We tried using a points chart, but it became a bit too much for me to handle. Now, I focus more on simply recognizing and encouraging their good behavior.
We ended up making chores into these weird competitions where my daughter tries to beat her own time folding laundry or sees how many toys she can put away during one song. She gets so focused on the challenge that she forgets it’s actually work.
Sometimes I’ll leave little notes when I notice she did something without being asked, like “thanks for feeding the cat” on her bathroom mirror. Those random acknowledgments seem to stick with her more than the planned rewards we used to do.