I’m looking for ideas on rewarding my kids without always resorting to toys or treats. What are some good non-material ways to encourage positive behavior? Things like extra screen time or staying up late don’t really work for us. Any suggestions from other parents?
We use a ‘special time’ system. Kids pick an activity to do with one parent for 30 minutes. Could be board games, bike rides, or baking.
They earn it through good behavior or completing tasks. Works well for us.
I remember trying to find non-material rewards for my kids. One thing that worked well was a ‘special day’ system. When they hit their goals, they got to plan a whole day of activities with me or my husband. It was usually simple stuff like going to the park, baking cookies, or having a movie marathon at home.
My daughter loved earning ‘Mom’s assistant’ privileges. She’d get to help with grown-up tasks like meal planning or sorting the mail. It made her feel important and gave us some nice one-on-one time.
For my son, we used a ‘challenge jar’. He’d earn slips with fun challenges like ‘build the tallest Lego tower’ or ‘learn three juggling tricks’. He got really into trying to complete them all. It kept things interesting and gave him a sense of accomplishment. 
These methods took some trial and error, but they helped us move away from material rewards. The kids seemed to really value the experiences and extra attention.
My kiddo loves earning ‘adventure points’ for tasks. We have a chart where they track points, then cash them in for fun experiences. Last month, they saved up for a trip to the trampoline park. It’s neat to see them work towards goals.
Another thing that’s worked well is letting them be the ‘expert’ on something. When they master a chore, they get to teach it to me or a younger cousin. Seeing their pride in sharing knowledge is pretty cool.
I’ve been trying to figure out non-material rewards too. My 5-year-old loves getting to be my ‘special helper’ for things like cooking or gardening when they do well. It’s not perfect, but they seem to enjoy the one-on-one time.
I’m curious about the ‘adventure points’ idea. How do you keep track of those? And does anyone have tips for making it work with a younger kid who might not fully grasp the concept yet? I’d love to try something like that, but I’m not sure how to adapt it for a 5-year-old.
I’ve found that quality time together can be a great reward. My kids love when we have a special game night or do a fun craft project as a family. It gives them something to look forward to and strengthens our bond.
Another thing that works well is giving them more responsibility or privileges. For example, my older child gets to choose the movie for family night when he finishes his chores without reminders. The younger one loves helping me cook dinner as a reward for good behavior.
Sometimes simple praise goes a long way too. We have a ‘brag board’ where we write down things they did well. They get so excited to see their accomplishments up there. It’s amazing how much these little things motivate them!