I’m trying to figure out the best ways to acknowledge my kids when they complete their household tasks. Right now I just say ‘good job’ but I feel like I could be doing something more meaningful. What kind of positive feedback do you all use with your children after they finish their chores? Looking for ideas that will keep them motivated but also help them understand why helping out matters.
I relate to this so much. My child recently started tidying up their toys too, and I find myself saying ‘good job’ a lot. I’ve also tried being specific, like saying ‘you put all the blocks in the box,’ but I wonder if they really understand why helping is important for the family. I want them to feel proud but also grasp the idea of teamwork at this age. What have you found works best?
I’ve found that relating chores to specific benefits really makes a difference. When my daughter helps with the dishes, I tell her that we can enjoy pancakes the next day or that everyone can eat off clean plates because of her. My son seems to appreciate it too, especially when he discovers his favorite book after my daughter organizes the playroom. They start to see how important their contributions are. I’ve even shared their accomplishments with my husband through text, and they really enjoy hearing about it later.
My kid’s face lights up when I connect their help to real results. When they sort laundry, I’ll say ‘folding’s so much faster now’ or ‘the living room looks amazing after you vacuumed.’ Sometimes I let them choose what we do with the extra time since chores got done fast. I’m not perfect at it though - some days I just default to ‘thanks for helping.’
I started pointing out how their work helps everyone. Like saying ‘now we all have clean clothes for the week’ after they do laundry. It gets them thinking past just checking off the task.
Looking back, mixing up my feedback kept both kids engaged. With my 14-year-old, I focus on effort over results. Instead of saying the room looks clean, I’ll say I can tell you really worked hard organizing that desk.
My 17-year-old wants adult treatment. I thank them genuinely and mention how their help frees me up or benefits everyone. Quick texts like thanks for handling the kitchen actually work great.
What surprised me most? They love when I mention their help to other family members. Not showing off, just casually telling my spouse that one of them handled something without being asked. They get this little smile when they overhear. 
Some days I still default to good job and that’s fine. Perfect feedback every time isn’t realistic for busy parents.