I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately as a parent. We always hear about how important it is to encourage kids and build character, but I’m curious about the real long-term impact.
Like, does positive reinforcement and character building actually make a measurable difference in how they turn out as adults? What specific changes have people seen in their kids’ confidence, decision-making, or overall success later in life?
Just wondering if anyone has experience with this or knows of any research on the topic. Thanks!
My kids are still young, but I’ve already seen changes in how they handle challenges. When I started focusing more on celebrating their effort rather than just results, they became more willing to try new things. My older one used to get really frustrated with homework and would shut down. Now when I point out how hard he’s working or how he figured something out, he actually asks for help when he needs it. He doesn’t seem as scared of making mistakes. The younger one has gotten more confident about speaking up for herself too. She’ll tell other kids when something bothers her now, which she never did before. I think it’s helping them trust their own judgment more. They’re not waiting for me to tell them what’s right or wrong as much.
Both my kids handle setbacks way better now than they did a few years ago. My daughter bounces back from friend drama faster and my son doesn’t melt down over bad grades anymore. They problem-solve first before coming to me.
Reflecting on my experiences, I remember how my child used to give up at the first sign of difficulty. Whether it was piano lessons or trying to beat a tough level in a game, it seemed like any challenge led to quitting. I realized that I often jumped in to fix things or reassured her it was okay to give up. Lately, I’ve been focusing on the moments when she perseveres, even with little tasks like untangling headphones or solving a math problem. While she still feels frustrated sometimes, she seems to have developed more resilience. Just last month, she dedicated three weeks to learning to ride her bike without training wheels.
My 5 year old is still pretty young, but I’m starting to wonder about this too. When I praise the effort they put into simple chores like sorting toys, they seem more willing to try again the next day. But honestly, I’m not sure if what I’m doing now will actually stick or make a real difference years from now. Do you think there’s a certain age when encouragement starts having more lasting effects? Sometimes I feel like I’m just guessing at what will help them grow into confident adults.
Looking back at my teenagers now, I can definitely see how the encouragement approach shaped them over the years. My 17-year-old used to be terrified of speaking in class or joining group projects. I spent a lot of time pointing out the small moments when she did speak up or share an idea, even at home during dinner conversations.
What I’ve noticed is that she developed this quiet confidence in her own opinions. She doesn’t need constant validation anymore and actually seeks out leadership roles at school. My 14-year-old was the kid who would lie about mistakes or blame others when things went wrong. Instead of lecturing him, I started acknowledging when he owned up to things honestly.
Now he comes to me when he messes up because he knows I won’t explode. He’s learned that honesty gets better results than covering things up. Both kids make decisions without constantly asking what I think they should do. They trust themselves more, which I think will serve them well as they head into adulthood
