I’ve been thinking about how to approach chores with my kids. Should I be praising them more for trying hard, even if the results aren’t perfect? Or is it better to focus on the end result? I’m not sure which approach would be more motivating for them in the long run. What do you all think? Has anyone tried different methods and seen what works best?
I remember wrestling with this question when my kids were younger. What worked for us was a mix of both. We’d praise effort, especially when they were just starting out with a new chore. It encouraged them to keep trying.
As they got better, we shifted focus to the outcome but still acknowledged their hard work. For example, with laundry, we’d say, ‘Great job folding all those clothes! Next time, let’s work on making the folds a bit neater.’
This approach seemed to keep them motivated without feeling discouraged when things weren’t perfect. It also taught them that putting in effort usually leads to better results over time.
Every kid is different though. My older one responded well to this, while the younger needed more emphasis on effort for longer. It took some trial and error to find what worked best for each of them.
I’ve found a mix works well. Praise effort early on to build confidence. As they improve, shift focus to results but still acknowledge hard work.
My kids responded differently. Older one liked clear goals, younger needed more encouragement. Adjust as you go.
I’ve been trying different approaches with my 5-year-old. Right now, we’re doing a mix of praising effort and results. It’s confusing sometimes.
Last week, my kid tried really hard to make the bed. It wasn’t perfect, but I felt proud of the effort. I wonder if always praising effort might make them not care about doing it well?
On the other hand, when I focus on results, my child sometimes gets frustrated if it’s not right.
What’s worked best for you as your kids got older? Did you change your approach over time? I’m still figuring this out and would love to hear from parents who’ve been through it.
In our house, we’ve tried to make chores feel less like work and more like fun activities. We started using a points system where my kid earns rewards for completing tasks. It’s been working pretty well so far.
I’ve noticed that focusing too much on the end result can sometimes be discouraging. So we try to keep things light and celebrate the effort. For example, when my child helps with dishes, we might have a bubble-blowing contest while we work.
Finding the right balance is tricky, and what works changes as kids grow. It’s all about experimenting and seeing what motivates your child best.
We’ve found that looking at chores as learning opportunities works well for us. Our kids have chore charts with small rewards, which keeps them engaged.
For newer tasks, we focus on their effort. Like when our youngest started folding laundry, we’d say how great it was that they tried so hard.
As they get better, we talk more about the results, but always in a positive way. If the dishes aren’t totally clean, we might say ‘You did a good job washing most of them. Let’s check if any need another scrub.’
This approach has helped our kids stay motivated and feel good about helping out. They’re getting more independent with chores, which is amazing to see. It’s definitely been a process of figuring out what works for our family.