I’ve been thinking about how to approach chores with my kids. Should I praise them more for trying hard, even if the results aren’t perfect? Or is it better to focus on the end result? I’m not sure which approach would be more motivating in the long run. What do you all think? Has anyone tried different methods with their own children?
This is something I’ve been wondering about too. My 5-year-old just started helping around the house. I try to praise them for trying, but sometimes I worry if that’s enough.
The other day, my kid spent ages trying to fold a shirt. It looked pretty messy, but they were so proud. I wasn’t sure if I should show them how to do it better or just be happy they tried.
What about older kids? Do you find they need different kinds of encouragement as they grow up? I’d love to hear what’s worked for others at different ages.
I’ve found a balance works well for us. My kid gets points for completing chores, but I also make a big deal about effort. Last week, they spent ages organizing the pantry. It wasn’t perfect, but their excitement was contagious. We celebrated with ice cream.
I noticed praising effort keeps them motivated to tackle tougher tasks. They’re more willing to try new chores without fear of messing up. As they’ve gotten older, we’ve added some result-based rewards too, which seems to be a good mix for us.
In our family, we’ve found a mix of praising effort and outcome works well for chores. Our kids have a chore chart with stickers for completed tasks. But we also make a big deal about trying hard.
For example, our 7-year-old struggled with folding laundry at first. We’d give lots of encouragement for effort, even if things were wrinkly. Now she’s pretty good at it and loves earning her stickers.
Our 10-year-old is more interested in results these days. So we’ve started adding small bonuses for really well-done chores. Like extra allowance for a super clean bathroom.
It’s been a process of figuring out what motivates each kid. But focusing on both effort and results seems to keep them engaged without too much pressure.
In our house, we do a mix. Kids get points for doing chores, but extra for really good work. Seems to motivate them to try harder without stressing too much about perfection. Older one’s more driven by results now. Younger still needs lots of praise for effort.
In our house, we’ve tried both approaches over the years. I remember when my youngest was about 8, she spent an hour trying to mop the kitchen floor. The result wasn’t great, but her effort was amazing. I made sure to praise her hard work, which encouraged her to keep trying.
As my kids got older, we shifted a bit. Now, with my teens, we focus more on the outcome, but still acknowledge their effort. For example, my 17-year-old is responsible for mowing the lawn. If he does a rushed job, we talk about how to improve next time. But if he puts in extra effort to edge and bag clippings, he might earn some bonus screen time.
I’ve found that mixing praise for both effort and results works well. It keeps them motivated to try their best, while also teaching them the importance of doing a good job. Every kid is different though, so it might take some trial and error to find what works best for your family. 